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The War on Terror: Chapter 5 The War on Terror: Chapter 5
by Thanos K & Asa B
2007-04-18 10:27:01
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Can you believe that I now am on the verge of having a drinking problem! Ever since I began this saga with the police department I have been polishing off a single bottle of malt liquor every two days and that is only because I sleep through one of them. It only began with one or two tumblers of whisky and ice to calm my nerves, but lately I have abandoned the rocks and am hitting up to six, ok, seven generous servings a day. Actually, I fell asleep on the telephone last night and awoke with the buttons digging into my left cheek – it now looks as though I have very organized acne pockmarks.

I have decided to follow a different approach by posting a message on my blog and hope one of my fellow bloggers can offer some helpful advice. I opened a new message window and began typing: “I need to make a written complaint concerning police inability, plus I want to obtain one of those codes that are always requested and even try to make an appointment with a flesh and blood policeman.” Here I was posting a message to virtual people but not minding that they were faceless, unlike that cursed operator…or is the operator virtual? Better make this one a double.

I couldn’t stop myself from checking for new comments every few minutes and it was a relief to slowly read words of moral support from fellow citizens, hear about their incredible stories and laugh at police ineptitude jokes. However, nobody answered the questions in the post or even attempted to do so, preferring to start off-topic discussions and promote their own blogs – if I wasn’t so immersed in the chaos of police bureaucracy I would attack their lack of Netiquette.

The next day was a very slow day; it was the same after those one bottle of whisky days meaning I’d slept in my armchair most of the night and day, my body would ache and crack, and my brain felt as though it was a lump of soggy kitchen roll. I logged on to my blog and was stunned to see that the online police department had left a message. Before I became too excited, I checked the poster’s IP address and confirmed that this was an official posting – if I had been a cartoon character I am sure my eyes would have been popping from my head in surprise.

The message informed me that I should visit their official website and follow the appropriate links. I had no idea they were even online, but I guess they have to be in order to catch hackers and online fraudsters – perhaps I could enlist the help of a hacker to attack their site…difficult and dangerous. I guess it was the word ‘inability’ in my post that caught their attention forcing them to prove their ability!

I looked at the comments section again but nobody else had commented. That was common. Every time the online police makes a comment on your blog or your site nobody else writes anything else. After all, we must excuse them since they know the laws better than anybody else and it is part of their job to enforce the law. If there are any objections on their decisions or practices there is always the ‘online police, complaint department’ where you simply fill in the extensive form, but when you press send it simply reboots your PC – cunning.

However, the link they had sent me in their post was different to the publicly available one. Did I mention that even though everybody could see that the online police had posted a reply to my question nobody else could read it? In an act of drunken stupidity and bravado I boasted on my blog that I had received a reply and knew exactly what to do.

I received over 500 emails over the next 24-hours.

Read the other chapters

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