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Fin Elegy - Chapter 1: The Visitor. Part 2 Fin Elegy - Chapter 1: The Visitor. Part 2
by Christos Mouzeviris
2020-12-06 11:04:12
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Fin Elegy
Chapter 1: The Visitor. Part 2.

As he approached, Doug hastily curled himself in the middle of the bed, being grasped by fear. He embraced his legs that were folded against his chest, trying pointlessly to protect himself as he covered them with the white sheet. His eyes expressed nothing else but panic, yet he could not move.

For a moment, the only sound he could hear was coming from his inner ear and his reflect of trying to gulp down his own spit, although in vain. His throat was too dry from his dread.

“Doug please, don’t be afraid…I am not here to harm you,” the man said with his now low and smoky voice. He was close to the bed, standing over Doug. As soon as he approached, he reached out with one of his hands to touch him, but Doug shrugged him off turning his head slightly to the side.

chapter_1__morpheus_as_somnifaerie_400Keeping his eyes still locked on the black cladded man, he found the courage to put some words together. With a shaky voice he asked:

-Who…. What are you?

He looked again towards the entity and faced it, but simultaneously pulled himself backwards and further away from it, at the centre of the bed.

“Doug… I am here for you,” the man replied. “There is no point,” he continued.

“What do you want from me and who are you?” Doug interrupted as he repeatedly screamed back at him while lifting his shaking left arm, folded at his elbow, and covering part of his face.

Realizing that Doug was in no position of keeping his fear under control, the shadowy male sat on the bed with his back against the terrified man. He lifted his head up, looking outside the window.

“There is no easy way of saying this Doug, but all this is your doing. I am here to help you one way or another,” he said, while exhaling.

“Am I dead, is that what are you trying to say? Are you…? Death or something,” Doug asked anxiously.

The man chortled briefly and turned to look at him over his shoulder.

“My name is Finsternis and no, I am not Death, nor an undertaker. My realm is the Shadows and I come to people that are transitioning between two dimensions, or two phases of their existence,” he replied.

“Fin… Fin, what? Are you a demon or an angel? Where am I, what is happening to me,” Doug queried, briefly losing his fear to approach the mysterious entity that was sitting where he was a minute ago.

“I guess your German is not great. Hmmm…. Fin. Yes, you may call me that if you wish to make it easier for you, it is pretty appropriate in fact,” said the man as he was turning for a second time his head to smile towards Doug.

-You have me completely lost here buddy. Seemingly I am dead or having a pretty messed up nightmare, and you sit here judging me on my foreign language skills?

Doug’s face was now filled with an exasperation and despair, as he found the courage to sit next to “Fin”.

“OK, eermmm…Listen, Fin. I do not get this seriously deranged situation, so you better come clean. I need to know what is happening to me, who or what the hell are you and what you want from me! And seriously, is it like a shark’s “fin”? What a weird name for a guy that just came out of the shadows!” Doug utters.

Fin continued smirking while looking outside of the window again.

“I guess you don’t speak very well French either. Plus, you are a very bad listener. Not to worry, you will understand soon,” he gently rebuts.

Doug had now his head turned towards Fin, staring at him while getting really annoyed for his tormenting ridicule. Plus, he could not believe that he is experiencing something like this; instead of answers or a scary, violent end, he was being mocked by a supernatural entity with a French-German name.

Suddenly Fin’s face became serious, sensing that he could no longer play with Doug’s despair. He gathered as much compassion he could and decided to reveal his intentions. He turned towards Doug, took one deep long breath, and broke the news. His eyes’ irises now appeared to be like crystal spheres, filled with two types of liquid: water and olive oil.

The two substances refused to blend, creating bubbles that sometimes split from each other, while afterwards pulled together and merged, creating lighter or darker colour shades of green in different, ever-changing shapes. Two black dots were positioned in the middle to act as pupils, giving his eyes some normality after all.

“Doug, you are here because you overdosed. Can you remember that? You lost your job, a year after your wife has left you, because she could no longer cope with your unfaithfulness, mood swings and addictions. Your whole world came crumbling down, you checked-in in a hotel and start drinking heavily while taking drugs. I am here to help you now,” Fin said.

Doug quickly turned away from him, as glimpses of what happened were flooding his memory. He remembers his last day at work and the embarrassment he had to endure as he was being fired. He recalls walking down the streets, drunk and lost, walking into a cheap hotel in Boston’s suburbia.

He could not go home. It was empty and full of painful memories from his past life, failed marriage, his addiction to various substances and the efforts to overcome it. He chose to buy more alcohol from a liquor store, while an old friend and dealer supplied him with marijuana.

He was already on prescribed sleeping pills, to help him deal with his anxiety and insomnia, which he decided to use that night, in desperation. He needed help, but he had nobody left close enough to offer it to him.

The last feeling which he recalls having, was the cold, painful piercing of loneliness, guilt, and desperation, mixed with the bitterness, foul taste, and dizziness of the substances he used to soothe it.

“So, I died last night, right? I have always been a loser, I guess now I have finally managed to put an end to my miserable existence. And I am not even sure if I will be missed by anyone,” Doug said with a low voice, hanging his head down in shame and sadness. He wished for things to have been different and not letting them get this far.

His eyes glazed as if he was going back in those moments in his life, which he hoped he changed. He always thought that he should be a better person, yet somehow, he could not break the circle he got himself into. All the things he wished he did, but never got around doing, begun replacing his past life mistakes in his thoughts.

“Nothing good can come out of regret and despair now Doug,” Fin says.

-Besides, you are not dead yet. Your soul has not left your body entirely. However, there is nothing that you can do at this stage, your fate is in the hands of pure luck and your body’s ability to cope. You may be woken up by someone or recover in the end. Right now, you must surrender to the experience you are having in this dimension, which is what you need to do if you want…

-Well if I am not dead yet, can’t you do something to help me. Please Fin, do not let it happen. Perhaps a second chance, I do not want to...

“Sure, I will go downstairs, inform the receptionist about your situation and then go and bring you some take-away food to help you recover,” Fin interrupted him with sarcasm, while rolling his eyes upwards and then towards Doug. “You don’t understand; this is not how it works. I have no such powers in your world, I simply don’t exist there in this form,” he continued.

“But there must be something that can be done, what if I go and try to find a way to” …. Doug cried and turned his body towards Fin yet maintained the distance between them, by folding his left leg back on the bed. He swiftly glanced towards the door, lifting his left arm, and pointing towards it.

Fin raises his hand and extends it towards Doug’s chest, palm wide open. It was his turn now to express panic with his face, while trying to prevent Doug from acting on his thoughts.

“Doug just don’t!” he said with a very firm voice, full of authority.

-People that make that mistake remain forever between the two worlds, trapped by their own denial and inability to accept what has happened to them. They linger in desperation in a state of eternal sadness, only being able to appear as a mirage to those who still reside in the world of the living.

“You are talking about ghosts,” Doug said, while sinking back to his bed, first looking at Fin, then looking down at his bed linen while folding his arms around his chest, as if he was trying to hug and comfort himself. The idea scared him.

Accepting finally his circumstances and allowing himself to trust Fin, he rearranged the pillows on the bed, placing them against the bedhead. He leaned backwards and sat up, while using the sheets to cover his body up to its waist.

Doug then looked at Fin, realizing his predicament. With his eyes now being able to look straight to the dark entity’s face, he nodded that he was ready to listen now.

-Look Doug; there is nothing you can do about where you are right now, or how you got here. The point is to focus and learn what you need to learn. Your whole life you were trying to control things, just like most people. This is one of the times that you need just to sit back and experience things as they unfold.

“Your life is not in your hands at this point. This is nobody else’s fault but yours. But instead of sinking into despair, panic, and denial, you have a chance to tap into your own unconscious and come out from this transitional state as a better entity. Sometimes we really need to embrace our inner darkness, to find the true light in our existence,” Fin explains.

The entity then stood up, turned towards Doug who was now looking down, still embracing himself, with eyes swelling with tears. Fin subsequently jumped into bed and sat right next to him, turned his face towards the window and looked to the stars.

***********************

The painting Morpheus as Somnifaerie that accompanies the text is Christos Mouzeviris’ creations.

***********************

Fin Elegy
Chapter 1: The Visitor. Part 1 - Part 2

Chapter 2: Fin's Theory. Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Chapter 3: About Doug. Part I - Part 2 - Part 3 

Chapter 4: Loving Doug. Part 1- Part 2 - Part 3 

Chapter 5: Jenny. Part 1 - Part 2  - Part 3

 Epilogue

 


    
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