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A clean office atmosphere A clean office atmosphere
by Joseph Gatt
2020-02-06 10:12:29
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Mistakes done at offices, in no particular order.

Mistake number 1: leaving office members with no work to do for several weeks or months

When office workers show up to the office but there are no projects to work on. What do they do? They start spending lots of time at the water cooler. Now what could they possibly discuss at the water cooler? Vacations. Check. Every movie they've ever watched. Check. Family drama. Check. Now they have nothing left to talk about. Or do they? Now they start unionizing! They start discussing ways to get better paychecks, more vacations, and other demands.

cleaoff01_400Mistake number 2: Putting people of different rank in the same office

A boss shares his office with his subordinate. How could that go wrong? Soon enough you will get surveillance and harassment. NEVER make a subordinate share an office with his supervisor. And if you get a job where you're sharing an office with your boss, run, run, run fast before you sign that contract.

Mistake number 3: Making sexy ladies share an office with straight macho men

How could that go wrong? Soon enough you're going to get sexual harassment claims, or worse.

Mistake number 4: Asking people working on different projects to come for a meeting

How could that go wrong? You get a battle of egos. If you're going to have office meetings, they had better be meetings exclusively with people working on the exact same project.

Mistake number 5: Teaching employees how to get the job done when you're not a good teacher

How could that go wrong? Those employees who actually know how to get the job done and can teach how to get the job done but are being taught how to get the job done by incompetent people are going to start looking for a better job.

Mistake number 6: Hiring a dictator as a supervisor

If your supervisor is obsessed with handing out tasks and punishments and hates it when people talk back, people are going to quit.

Mistake number 7: Not noticing the workaholic

If someone at the office is staying up all night, going the extra mile, not taking his or her vacation that usually means: they feel insecure about their job. Either they want guarantees that they can keep the job despite making less efforts, or they want more clarity as to how it is that they can keep the job. In sum, they are scared of getting fired, and you should reassure them that you like them and their presence.

Mistake number 8: People quit all the time and you do fuck'all about it

I know a lot of companies like that. People quit by the droves, are constantly replaced. When people constantly get replaced the workplace culture changes all the time, no one is no longer sure what their job description is, files get lost, and the workplace becomes the kind of hell where everything is improvised. In sum, if too many people are quitting, ask them why they are quitting, and try to fix the problem.

Final mistake: not enough office space

You usually need people to work at their stations, and enough space for files to be stored. I've seen dozens of office where 5 people share a table, and the table is jam-packed with files.

The problem when there is not enough space is that if one person showers himself with cologne, or one person forgets to shower in the morning, or if one person farts, the entire office is going to suffer. Which is the main reason I totally dislike this open-space idea.

Final, final mistake: Landlines in offices

Seriously. Give office workers a cell phone, and give them the instruction to pick up phone calls OUTSIDE. Make them write phone conversation memos if necessary. But if you're a business or political office that is not a call center, you want office workers to have privacy when it comes to phone calls, even when those phone calls are with clients. That is if everyone else is within hearing distance, either use one single phone for the entire office, or give office workers cell phones that they pick up OUTSIDE. 

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