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The aftermath of loneliness The aftermath of loneliness
by Abigail George
2020-01-12 11:51:14
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(for Staff Sergeant Joseph William George)

I want you to bring me to life, bring me flowers, I
have become nothing. In the station of the metro, girls are
being woken up by kisses. A kiss has the power to
destroy, to uplift, to empower, to sabotage a girl
in the dark. A girl must open her eyes to everything.
I am not that girl. Older males do not look my way
anymore. I am old, my core is old, my personality is
cold. My spirit is cold. Say my name, but the man I
am with cannot for the life of him remember what
my name is. I am lack. I am without. I am in need

of innovative therapy, of a sharp psychiatrist, clever
anti-depressants to save me. You don’t take my calls.
In front of me it seems like an impossible task that
burns repeatedly. You hate me. Once I loved you.
Now I must hate you too. So, I put a record on to
remind me of you. I know it’s wrong in the same
way that Novocaine is bad for my soul. So, I invade
the remote. Let my hair down, fantasize about a
married man holding me in his arms, because I am
so impossible to love, so wrong for everyone else.

Not marriage material. I read Salinger, Updike, and
Hemingway and all devastate me with their truthful
personalities, all play sabotage, and infertility into
my hands, and call it art, philosophy, psychology, vision,
education, and I still want a spacious family with room
to grow, but that is not on the cards for me. Love, sex,
and marriage, and children are not on the cards for me.
Are you happy now winter? That you have rejected me,
I eat burnt toast and I drink cold coffee and I love and
love but nobody loves me in return and nobody cares
for me with an art second to none. Although I'm magic.

 lon01_400

*****************************************************************
Abigail George has two books in the Ovi Bookshelves,
"All about my mother" & "Brother Wolf and Sister Wren"
Download them, NOW for FREE HERE!

 life_06_400

 


   
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