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Dupenews: Trump's resolutions Dupenews: Trump's resolutions
by Theodore K. Nasos
2020-01-07 10:15:30
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Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!

The first couple started their New Year at a high-Fox news bash thrown by the president himself at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach and paid by the American public as usual.

But, before they could toast to 2020 and cheer to Donald Jr. for his 42nd constituent year of stupidity, President Trump and Melania were stopped by reporters and asked about their new year's resolutions.

And they were both kind enough to give us an idea.

His
1. Provoke Iran – kill a random general, start a war
2. Take Iran’s oil.
3. Provoke Iraq – Sanctions and tariffs
4. Take Iraq’s oil
5. Provoke all NATO allies – blame them for Iran and Iraq
6. Give Syria and Libya to Erdogan – blame EU for everything.
7. Speak on the phone with Vlad more often.
7. Eat more salad.

Hers
1. ……………………….
2. ……………………….
3. Lawyer.
4. ……………………….
5. ……………………….
6. Divorce.
7. ……………………….

President Trump, who is spending public money in his 17 days Palm Beach break from his usual public money spending golf course in New Jersey, also announced his return to Fox & Friends as soon as he manages to get rid of Don Jr, Jared, Eric, Lara, Tiffany and the rest of his so-called-family.

 

 


   
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