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Dating Arab men and women
by Jay Gutman
2018-12-04 10:11:59
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A man or a woman can be an entire world by themselves, but here are some generalizations on dating Arab men or women.

Dating Arab women

-Social status is of extreme significance. Good social status includes owning a nice house, having money, owning a business, living in a European or North American country, owning cars, owning luxury products and being from a well off family. Arab women will brag a great deal about themselves and their family. Since society tends to be competitive, they will prevent you from bragging at first, but will pay attention to the small details. Your social status will determine what kind of woman you can date.

-Life is full of ambiguities. Arab women will tend not to have life plans nor will they bother finding out about your life plans. Planning a date can also be complicated. Most men just hop into the car and take you to the unknown. Dates are rarely planned in advance.

atab001_400-Ambiguity also means not being clear or specific about money, net worth, spending, or not calculating deeds or gifts. Calculators have an extremely bad name in Arab society. Don't tell her how much you picked up on the tab, don't discuss how much was spent shopping, don't discuss how much you spent for her on your stuff. If you do that, she will immediately counter by saying that she comes from a wealthy background and could have afforded the whole thing herself.

-She will call you all the time. And expect you to pick up the phone. And expect you to say a ton of nice words. She will also expect you to call her all the time. Couples spend a lot of time saying nice things to each other on the phone. This to compensate the fact that being romantic in public places is frowned upon, a crime in some Arab states.

-Don't go meet her family alone. When meeting her family, bring at least a parent or a brother, if possible several brothers and sisters, cousins, friends and relatives. You only get to meet her family during the engagement, and an elaborate ceremony will be held by her family. As a man, if she's a Muslim, you will be expected to convert to Islam beforehand. And in most cases Islam means a great deal to her, so you will have to give up eating pork and will be expected to fast on Ramadan.

-Arab women like to play mind games and can be very unpredictable. She will give you the silent treatment, will beat around the bush, will tell blatant lies, will play revenge games.

-In some cases, Arab women can be uncomfortable with you two being alone. On a date, she might always bring a friend. Once married, she might ask a family member to live in the house. Talking to her face to face can be complicated.

-Once in the house, she will tend to do her own thing. She will clean, watch TV or talks on the phone with her friends, but will rarely take time to talk to you or spend time with you.

-Don't expect her to be polite or to say nice things just to please you. She can complain about a gift you gave her, about the amount of money you give her, about your house, your car or your family. Arab women can be drama queens.

-After arguments, she can refuse to cook or even disappear and leave you living alone. She will expect you to beg her to come back to normal.

-She might brag about your children, but will be downright hysterical when raising them. She will expect your children to be perfect, and as socially conscious people, any sign of imperfection can leave her disciplining your children. Showing children affection is not always the norm.

-She will be very conscious about how you treat her in public. Dress well, be articulate and always win arguments in public appearances. A lot of the conversation with her will deal about specific incidents at public gatherings. She will not have nice things to say about most people.

Dating Arab men

-Arab men can be extremely status conscious. They will brag about having money, travelling frequently, speaking several languages, having powerful connections and being respected by society at large. They will throw several anecdotes to prove their point. The anecdotes are often phony, or with a great dose of exaggeration.

-Being extremely status conscious, Arab men will try to meet the perfect woman. If you have “imperfections” they probably want to marry you so they can get a visa and settle in your country.

-Dating and marriage are a family affair and there are elaborate engagement and wedding ceremonies involving families. If they leave family out of the equation, it might be that they are ashamed of introducing you to their family.

-Status consciousness continues within couples. Once you are dating, they will continue bragging about being respected, having powerful connections, having money and other aspects of their perfect life.

-Ambiguity is the norm. They won't tell you where they are going, when they are coming home, will often tell you about plans at the last minute, and can do several things behind your back. Arab women often use their families to confront their husbands about their actions.

-Their way to propose is to say “I want to meet your parents.” They will bring family and friends to meet your parents. If they propose by getting down on a knee and offering you a ring, their family probably doesn't know you exist.

-They will try to win every argument with you. Don't confront them about their political choices, religious choices, lifestyle choices or tastes. They will spend hours trying to convince you that their favorite musician is the best musician in the world, or that their political views are the correct views. Even when you tell them you give in and agree, they will still spend a couple of hours emphasizing that you were wrong in the first place.

-Don't confront them about their habits or about money. They will get downright hysterical and tell you their habits are correct.

-At home, a lot of rules of etiquette are not observed. They might curse, fart, burp, talk loudly on the phone, bring home friends without informing you, eat without cleaning up, leave things on the floor. They won't feel guilty about that.

-Their family means a great deal to them. Whatever you do don't criticize their parents, brothers and sisters, cousins, or any family member. Keep those bad thoughts to yourself.

-Finally, there will be a lot of social drama. They will come home complaining about people they met who caused them trouble. They will get in frequent arguments and will come home recounting those arguments.

Social notes on dating Arab men and women

-Arab societies are extremely status conscious. To prove this point, in the late 1990s when cell phones started being hype in Europe but did not exist in the Middle East, people would take their cordless phones outside and pretend to talk on the phone, claiming those were cell phones.

-Arab societies can be extremely jealous, as they are status conscious. Bragging tends to be very subtle, and there tends to be a lot of paranoia when it comes to bragging. You might say something innocent and be confronted about bragging.

-Because Arab societies are extremely status conscious, a lot of marriages are social arrangements rather than love arrangements. This leads to a great deal of coldness and tension within a lot of couples. If you're not an Arab and an Arab wants to marry you, they might have a game plan with an exit strategy.

-Even though Arabs will swear that they are loyal and that fidelity is the norm, cheating is extremely common. Most Arab men and women have several girlfriends or boyfriends, and usually hide a phone in the car or at the office to pick up phone calls from mistresses.

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